Stream of Consciousness
by CaramelAriana
Summary: Everyone thinks of Daisuke as the impetuous, hardheaded leader of the 02 gang. But there's always more than meets the eye. Even if you don't like Daisuke, please read. It's always nice to get a new perspective.


Ariana: I know, I know! I'm supposed to be working on "Welcome to My Life". I promise the next chapter will be up soon. But this just suddenly came to me and it wouldn't leave me alone.

Ti: I hit her in the head.

Ariana: Oh, so that's why I've had a killer headache. And here I thought it was allergies.

Ti: Yeah, allergies to updates.

Ariana: That's it! I'm shipping you back home! Shouldn't you be inspiring me for things already in progress?

Ti: Nope.

Ariana: Oh well. This is basically Daisuke speaking up about who he really is. Even if you don't like Daisuke, go ahead and read it. You might think differently about him. Daisuke used to be one of my least favorite characters until I read a few good fanfics about him. And now, I love him!

Daisuke: can't…breathe…

Ariana: This takes place a few years after the digital world. Probably high school. Definitely not college yet.

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon or its characters. But I'm currently working on that. I'll let you know how successful I am.

Stream of Consciousness (noun): "the continuous unedited flow of conscious experience through the mind"

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**Stream of Consciousness**

I've come to a realization, and it's about the way other people view me. You know, when I was younger I always wanted to be the cool one. The one that everyone liked and looked up to and wanted to be around and—well, you know what I mean. Someone like Taichi or Yamato, two of the coolest guys I know. Well, maybe more like Taichi. I could never be like Yamato, we have very different personalities. I suppose that's why I look up to Taichi so much. The moment I met him I knew that's who I wanted to be. Sounds a little pathetic, doesn't it? But you have to understand, the desire for popularity was so strong. That might be why I got into soccer, because that's what all the cool kids were doing. Now don't get me wrong, I love the sport. And I've never been one for fake modesty, so I know I'm good. I'm just not sure my parents had enough investment in me to sign me up on a whim. I've been playing since forever so I don't really remember when I started, but I'm sure I asked.

Now you're probably thinking great, he's going to slap a sob fest on us. That's not it at all. My parents love me, always have, and I'm very aware of that fact. I just wasn't the favorite, that's all. Some families favor the youngest, some the oldest. In my family it was Jun. Some of you might be wondering how the heck that happened, considering the way Jun can get sometimes. My only answer is: how do you think she got like that? Of course she goes after all the guys she likes; she's used to getting what she wants. Then the boy craze hit and—wouldn't you know it—Jun didn't get all the guys. But she went after them anyway. No boy was safe once they were the target of her affection. Yamato learned that the hard way.

Of course, who else would I look up to but my older sister? Granted, there are times when me and Jun absolutely hate each other, but I am the younger sibling. I'll slit my throat before I let her hear this, but I used to worship the ground she walked on. So it's not difficult to see that I might have gotten some boy craziness from her—without the boys. Now some of you might have guessed where this is going—Hikari. I know, I know. Why can't I take a hint, right? I know I have no chance with Hikari, and probably never will. But I certainly can't just let Takeru have her with no fight. There's always that minute chance that she'll have an epiphany or something and realize she's madly in love with me. Seriously though, I don't really like her as much as I put on show about it. I mean, I wouldn't like throw myself off a cliff if her and Takeru finally did hook up. I'm not stupid; I know they're meant for each other. Even I won't get in the way of fate. But I figure that, well, if Hikari ever finds herself in a dark place (because I know that happens once in a while) she can remember that someone loves her. I know I just said I'm not in love with the girl. That's not what I mean. I care about her as a person, and a friend, and would do anything to make sure she was happy and safe. So maybe that is love, but it's in a different way. Someday I'll let go and start pushing her and Takeru together, because only they seem blind to the inevitable. For now though, I want to make sure he's good enough for her.

I realize people will be a bit shocked to hear something like that from me. Surprise! I'm not quite as egocentric and stupid as others like to believe. Yeah, I know people think I'm stupid. I mean, come on, even my closest friends think that. Well, except Ken. Ken's always going on about how I don't give myself enough credit. Yeah, that's a funny one to hear. Daisuke Motomiya, the walking self-advertising campaign, doesn't give himself enough credit. Between you and me, Ken's insane. The only reason he says that is I compare myself to him sometimes. I'm not depressed or anything and I've got a pretty high self-esteem, but come on! It's hard having a best friend that's perfect. He's smart, athletic, kind, and good-looking (not that I know, but hey, all the girls are after him). Sure there was that whole evil taking over the world phase, but he's been through a lot. Besides, it turned out okay so he can be forgiven. About the only thing I can compete with him in is soccer. He says I'm a better friend, but I disagree. He's my best friend after all, and I know that's not easy. But he took the job and he's sticking with it.

I never did have a best friend before him. Shocking, I know. But I already mentioned I was into popularity. That meant lots of friends. I never sat still long enough to have a best friend. I had to get to know as many people as possible. I suppose that might be why no one really knows me. Back to that whole everyone thinks I'm stupid thing. I admit, I can be a little clumsy, and I've been known to spaz out every now and then. Okay, so I'm kind of a ditz. But I'm really not stupid. I get good grades; just everyone assumes that I don't. Do you think anyone ever asks to see my report cards? Nope. When that time comes everyone opens them up and starts sharing, either celebrating or complaining. I never offer and they never ask. Only me and Ken are left out of this ritual. And only me and Ken know each other's grades. I'm not a straight A student, but if I keep it up I'll be able to get into a good college.

Come to think of it, there's a lot my friends don't know about me. Like the fact that I don't hate Takeru. They think we're rivals for Hikari, but I've already been over that. I keep it up for entertainment purposes only. I'll probably let it go as soon as I find someone I really like. I actually admire Takeru for everything he's been through. Yeah, Hikari's told me a lot, probably trying to make me jealous. (She's really not as innocent as everyone thinks. I don't know why she keeps up this game, but I'm on to her.) I'll admit, at first I was insanely jealous. How dare Takeru have so much that was better than me! But once I realized the whole Hikari thing was just a crush, I got over it. I actually began to realize just how much the kid's been through. He's had a rough childhood. And to come out so successful, that's amazing. We do still get into fights, but that's usually because I don't know when to shut my mouth.

Yes, I'll admit it. I don't always think before I act. That's one thing everyone has right about me. And I'm stubborn. Like I said, I don't live by pretenses. I'm real with myself. I know my gifts and my vices. But I'm not like that because I don't care. I just like to keep an air of spontaneity. Life's too short to worry about every little thing (my experience in the digital world only proved that). Take Iori for instance. He's way too uptight. One of these days I'm going to get him really, really drunk. He'll hate me forever afterwards, but it'd be quite the sight to see. I just don't like being predictable. Although since I've been stuck with this stigma it's kind of lost its effect. But that means that every now and then, when I feel like it, I'll pull out something that seems really insightful (especially for me) and everyone will just be shocked. It's great when that happens.

I suppose the point I'm trying to make here is…you don't always know someone as well as you think you do. I'm not stupid, egocentric, or un-insightful. I'm no Ichijouji, but I'm not brain-dead either. And yes I like to announce when I do something well, but I don't try to hide my shortcomings. I know what I want to do with my life, and I'm going for it. I want to go to college, and I want to get in with a soccer scholarship. Who needs college to sell noodles? Don't laugh. I want to be an owner of a chain, and to do that you need to know something about business. So I think I might get a business major, with a minor in economics. Taichi is still my role model, but I don't want to be him anymore. There's certain things that work for him that don't for me. I realize this now. And that is why I look up to him, but I have my own dreams to follow. And I'm learning that maybe popularity isn't so important. Ken showed me what a true friend can be, and I kind of like the idea of having someone know me that well. I can't tell you where I'll be ten years from now, but I know I'll be making the best of whatever lot I'm thrown. So before you judge me, know me. I mean really know me. Then, I don't care what you think of me. But who knows? I might open your eyes and let you see the world in a whole new light.

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Ariana: So, did this make anyone see Daisuke in a different light? I really tried to keep him in-character, in as much as how he appears on the show. But I figure every character has motivations for the way they act that aren't necessarily apparent on the surface. This is just my version of what those motivations could be. As always, feedback greatly appreciated. I'll even accept flames on this one (though I don't know what you'd be flaming about). 


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